Are you interested in achieving more at work and advancing your career? “Give and Take” by Adam Grant provides examples of leaders who have gotten ahead in their careers through giving. The main idea is that giving makes you more likable. People end up rooting for you instead of competing against you, which could be useful in various aspects of your career. The book further explores the concept of “takers,” who often face societal disapproval, and “matchers,” who fall somewhere in between the two. This article includes a summary of “Give and Take,” followed by a review of its practical applications in real life.
Let’s dive right in!
What differentiates Givers, Takers, and Matchers?
For decades, we have associated career advancement with individual drivers of success, such as talent, skills, passion, and hard work. However, Grant argues that success is more about how we interact with others. His pioneering research categorizes the world into three types of people: givers, takers, or matchers.
Givers are rare; they contribute to others without expecting anything in return. Giving can take various forms—one person might see sharing their expertise as giving, while another might consider lending a helping hand to the community as an act of giving.
On the other hand, Takers are all about looking out for themselves and getting personal perks. They see the world as a competitive place – and always try to tilt any good deeds in their own favor. For example, giving something small and expecting something larger in return or creating situations where others feel the need to repay favors.
The vast majority of people are Matchers. Matchers align their behaviors with the dominant culture in an organization. If they are surrounded by givers, they will likely also contribute; however, if they find themselves in an environment dominated by takers, they may shift their behavior to take as much as possible from others.
6 Lessons From Give and Take
Here are 6 important Lessons from Adam Grant’s Give and Take.
Earning Respect and Success Over Time
It might seem easy for people who are constantly giving to deplete their energy and feel overwhelmed by the demands of others. While this is a valid concern, with a few adjustments, this same inclination to give can actually help individuals rise to the top, while prevent givers from feeling burnout. When givers encourage everyone in the group to adopt a similar mindset, they can avoid being taken advantage of. When everyone contributes, the overall benefit increases, and givers no longer feel drained.
Even if givers don’t end up at the very top, their understanding of success doesn’t solely revolve around that. For them, success can also mean achieving personal milestones that positively affect others.
In contrast, takers view success as being better than others, while matchers see it as balancing individual accomplishments with fairness to those around them.
Why Givers Thrive in Today’s Connected World
Adam Grant suggests that people can see relationships and reputations visibly in today’s connected world. Givers, who help others out of a desire to assist often do better than anyone else across a wide range of industries. Their willingness to help builds trust, leading to strong relationships and a good reputation. This makes it more likely that people will recommend their services later on. If a giver needs help from someone they’ve assisted before, it’s usually much easier to ask.
In contrast, takers focus on their own interests and don’t genuinely try to help others. As a result, they build weak relationships. When they need help years later, those weak ties are unlikely to support them. They can also expect few, if any, recommendations from acquaintances.
Matchers, by contrast, are more likely to help others with the expectation that the favor will be returned. They are careful to maintain an even exchange in their relationships.
The Perks and Challenges of Givers and Takers in Business
In the business world, being a giver or a taker really impacts how an individuals career plays out and whether they succeed. Givers are the ones who build strong relationships, trust, and a vibe that encourages teamwork and creativity. Their willingness to help others creates loyalty and a solid support network, which can be super important for moving up in your career or growing a business. Plus, givers tend to promote a positive workplace culture, making it easier for everyone to feel engaged and motivated.
On the flip side, takers are more focused on their own needs and often see relationships as just transactions. They can do well in competitive settings where being assertive and self-interested pays off. They might climb the ladder quickly by chasing personal goals and using others to get ahead. However, this approach usually backfires since takers often have a hard time building trust or working collaboratively. Their actions can push coworkers away and create a toxic atmosphere, leaving them high and dry when they need support the most.
Identifying Red Flags in Networking and Leadership
Networking offers three main benefits: different skills, influence, and exclusive information. When people build extensive networks, they gain influence, knowledge, and expertise.
Givers often get a lot from their networks because they offer value to others. Takers see the advantage of connecting with givers. They may pretend to be generous to get closer to them. Takers can act like givers or matchers. However, their relationships usually don’t last. As takers gain power, they often ignore how others see them. This poor treatment of peers and subordinates can harm their relationships and reputations over time.
Matchers usually believe in reciprocity. They think, “I’ll help you if you help me.” But this approach has downsides. By only focusing on deals that benefit them equally, they limit their chances for stronger connections.
The Effect of Givers on Group Success
Givers play an important role in helping groups succeed by promoting teamwork and improving overall performance. By caring about the success of others, givers create an environment where coworkers are more willing to help each other, leading to shared achievements.
On the other hand, takers can disrupt group dynamics because they focus only on their own success, often hurting others in the process. This self-centered approach creates competition instead of cooperation, leading colleagues to pull back their support. Research shows that while takers may find short-term success, their disregard for others limits their long-term impact. Givers build trust and strong relationships within teams, which helps achieve ongoing success.
The Impact of Powerful vs. Powerless Communication for Influencing
Many people believe that to influence others, you need to be in a position of dominance. Those who want to persuade often raise their voices, speak forcefully, brag about their successes, and occupy as much space as possible. Grant calls this “powerful communication.” He knows this tactic can work, but he points out that it often leads to a negative impact. Grant suggests a better approach used by “givers” is “powerless communication.”
This style avoids aggression and focuses on asking questions and making suggestions, helping others feel included. Showing vulnerability is key. This method is especially useful when talking to people who know more about a topic or have strong egos.
How Givers Remain Successful and Avoid Being Abused
To stay successful and avoid burnout, givers need to balance helping others with taking care of themselves. Selfless givers, who always put others first, often end up exhausted and less productive. In contrast, “otherish” givers focus on both their own needs and the needs of others, which helps them thrive. Research by Adam Grant shows that successful givers are as ambitious as takers and matchers but use their ambition to help others while also achieving their own goals. By recognizing their impact and setting healthy boundaries, otherish givers can avoid being seen as pushovers.
Another way givers can prevent burnout is by seeking feedback on how their work impacts others. Without seeing results or feeling a sense of purpose, givers might feel their efforts are wasted.
Grant also emphasizes the importance of recognizing tangible progress, such as seeing students improve or witnessing the benefits of charitable donations.
An additional strategy is to maintain strong support networks. Research by Christina Maslach indicates that givers with good social support can better manage stress and prevent burnout. Furthermore, givers can “chunk” acts of kindness into focused periods instead of spreading them out over time. This approach allows them to recharge between efforts, making their generosity sustainable and energizing.
Give and Take Review
In “Give and Take,” Grant does not argue that giving is the only strategy for achieving success. In fact, he emphasizes that giving doesn’t have to be a prerequisite for success. However, based on years of research, Grant finds that giving tends to lead to better outcomes for both oneself and others. He presents this information with an engaging style, using compelling stories alongside opinions, facts, and figures. Some may feel that the stories of individuals who have succeeded through giving seem cherry-picked or formulaic. Despite this, the combination of examples used in this landmark book, manages to encourage readers to reflect on the position they want to take in their careers and personal lives.
Who Should Read Give and Take?
Give and Take provides valuable insights for anyone interested in understanding how relationships influence success. Whether you are an entrepreneur, a manager, or navigating personal and professional relationships, this book offers new perspectives on how to interact with others. Its concepts are applicable across various industries and life paths.
Other Recommended Resources
If you want to learn more about influence, building relationships, and its impact on your personal and professional life, there are many books that can be read alongside Give and Take. These good reads explore how people connect, achieve success, and the benefits of giving.
The Power of Reciprocity by Robert Cialdini, explores the science of giving and receiving, offering a deep dive into the psychology behind reciprocity in relationships.
Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek, highlights how leaders who put the needs of others first create environments that foster trust, collaboration, and success.
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, discusses how to win people over and build meaningful relationships.
Each of these books delves into the power of social dynamics and how we can harness them to elevate our careers and personal lives.
About the Author
Adam Grant is a psychologist and professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. He studies work, motivation, and how people and organizations can succeed by helping others. He has written several bestsellers, including Give and Take, Originals, and Think Again. Grant is known for combining research with practical advice. He often speaks at events and writes for various media about leadership, productivity, and teamwork. His speaking and consulting clients include Google, Bridgewater, and the Gates Foundation. His work has changed how leaders and teams think about working together, achieving success, and balancing personal interests with the greater good.
This book has been published under different titles. These include “Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success” and “Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success”.
Give and Take Quotes
“Success doesn’t measure a human being, effort does.”
“The art of advocacy is to lead you to my conclusion on your terms.”
“Regardless of their reciprocity styles, people love to be asked for advice.”
“You never know where somebody’s going to end up. It’s not just about building your reputation; it really is about being there for other people.”
“When our audiences are skeptical, the more we try to dominate them, the more they resist.”