No man is an island. Love and belonging are fundamental human needs that all of us need and desire.
So, are you currently enjoying supportive and fulfilling relationships that energize you and propel you to greater heights? Does your spouse feel the same?
THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES
In his book, The Five Love Languages, Dr Gary Chapman explains that, like linguistics in communication, people speak different love languages.
We have our primary or native love languages, which we we speak and understand best in. We also have our secondary language(s) that we are comfortable in but less fluent at.
If you are unsure about your primary love language, you can consider trying the free online questionnaire at the Five Love Languages website. The book also provides many useful tips on how to identify your primary and secondary love languages.
Keeping your (and your spouses’s) “Love Tank” full
When we receive love in our primary love language, our “love tank” is filled and we feel loved. When we don’t receive love expressed in our primary love language, our love tank gradually depletes and we feel unloved. When our love tank is empty, issues is the relationship arise.
How full is your love tank right now?
The “Tank Check Game”
If you wish to deepen your relationship with your spouse and to stimulate the love expressions in your relationship, Dr Chapman recommends that you try out this simple game.
• Write down what you think is your primary love language, then list the other 4 in order of importance. Also write down what you think is the primary love language of your spouse. Sit down and discuss your lists.
• For 3 times a week for 3 weeks, do a “Tank Check” with your spouse:
(i) Ask “On a scale of 0-10, how is your love tank tonight?”
(ii)Then ask “What could I do to help fill it?” and do what your spouse requests to the best of your ability
(iii)The top requests are likely to cluster around your primary love language.
Before you say “nah, that’s too much effort”, or “my spouse would never be interested”, ask yourself – Do you want to feel understood and loved? How would your life be different if you could feel as “in love” as you did when you first met your spouse / partner?
For more tips and details on the five love languages, check out our online summary of the book, or buy a copy of the book online. You can also purchase a copy of our book summaries and 1-page book infographic, so you can review the key tips and actionable insights at a glance, anytime, anywhere!