Have you ever wished you could change the past, forget a negative experience, or see something in a more positive light? Well, here’s the good news–you can rebuild your memories to bring yourself greater peace, happiness and success. If you’re thinking, “that’s ridiculous” or “isn’t that lying to myself?”, just hold your horses first. In this article, we’re going to share the scientific basis behind this concept, with actual exercises that you can apply to rebuild your negative experiences and turn it to positive experiences. Through intentional practice and conscious reflection, you can enhance your mental health while finding greater meaning in life. Read on!
Your Brain and Virtual Reality
In “Buddha’s Brain“, psychologist Rick Hanson (Ph.D) shares neuroscience discoveries that explain how traditional Buddhist practices work. We won’t go into the details here–feel free to check out our online summary which outlines the key book ideas below.
In Buddha’s Brain, psychologist Rick Hanson (Ph.D) shares neuroscience discoveries that explain how traditional Buddhist practices work. We won’t go into the details here—feel free to check out our online summary which outlines the key book ideas below.
We’ll now zoom in on how our brain works with regard to perception, memory, and how we process stressful life events.
Take a few seconds to imagine yourself standing on the freezing peaks of the Alps, surrounded by pristine white snow with frigid winds howling around you. Now, imagine yourself in a huge meadow filled with colorful flowers in full bloom, with the sun warming your face. Do you realize how quickly your brain can conjure these life experiences? That’s because our brain works like a simulator and is constantly creating its own virtual reality. [You can get a more complete understanding of our brain and its long list of mental biases in Thinking, Fast and Slow.
- It fills information gaps and combines different experiences, knowledge, and impressions to simulate events. Likewise, each time your brain calls up a memory, it modifies it by filling gaps and reinterpreting details, all without your conscious realization.
- Each time we do something (e.g., recall a painful negative experience and think, “it was all my fault”), our brains create a neural connection to the associated feeling or behavior. The more we repeat these thoughts/actions, the stronger the connections become, intensifying negative emotions and raising our stress levels.
- When you hold two things in your mind at the same time, your brain also forms new neural connections to associate them. This process not only affects how we process memories but also influences our search for meaning in life.
So, here’s how you can rebuild your memories (and thus change your past) to heal pain and find a silver lining in difficult situations:
- Deliberately call up positive feelings while recalling a negative experience. This forms new neural connections that gradually dull the old pain, helping to improve anxiety-related outcomes.
- Be aware each time you feel upset and identify the underlying reasons. Then, neutralize it with positive emotions using the same approach above.
That’s it—by using just a few seconds each time, you can gradually build new, positive structures in your brain to alter your thoughts and actions. And as research on convergent validity in psychology suggests, these mental shifts can lead to measurable improvements in emotional resilience.
Neuro-Associative Conditioning (NAC)
Our memories define our perception of the past. So, to change your past you must learn how to modify your memories. This is one of the 6-step system designed by Anthony Robbins (in “Awaken the Giant Within“) to disrupt your disempowering patterns, and establish new, empowering ones. Let’s take a quick look at how it works.
Rebuilding your memory falls under Step 3: disrupt an old pattern to break it. Specifically, Robbins explains how you can interrupt a negative pattern—such as guilt and self-blame over a past incident—which hinders your ability to cope with similar stressful life events in the present. This is especially important for managing emotion regulation difficulties and reducing stress levels. The key is to jumble the memory beyond recognition so it no longer has power over you:
- Play the negative experience in your mind like a movie.
- Then, replay it in fast-forward mode, scrambling and changing the components so it becomes a comedy—e.g., reverse the movie, give someone a pig’s nose, add silly music…
- Each time you do this, you’re weakening old neural connections and building new ones. This approach improves emotional health and helps manage the cumulative life stress that builds up over time.
By practicing this technique, you’re not just reshaping your past—you’re also creating positive outcomes for your future. Studies on measures of emotion suggest that how we reframe memories can significantly impact our well-being.
So, there you are: a simple secret to free yourself from negative emotions and past burdens. Holding on to past trauma serves no purpose, especially since our interpretation of life experiences is often influenced by perception flaws and biases. Instead, adopt this approach to behavior change to release yourself from limiting patterns, find meaning in life, and cultivate acceptance on outcomes. By doing so, you create space for a healthier, more fulfilling future.
