Ever wondered what is emotional intelligence and why it matters? Emotional intelligence is about the ability to understand and manage both your emotions and others’ emotions, as well as to manage interpersonal relationships effectively. This is beneficial for good communication – and is, therefore, a gateway to better learning, friendships, doing well in school, and succeeding in your career. Hence, it’s worth exploring – and what better way than through insights from books? This article will recommend the best books on emotional intelligence to help you grasp the concept and develop your emotional intelligence skills. But first, let’s look at signs of emotional intelligence so you can assess your current proficiency and identify areas for improvement.
Signs of Low Emotional Intelligence
How do you know if you have strong emotional intelligence? You must first assess your current skill level to improve your ability to understand and manage your emotions, communicate effectively with others, and recognize their feelings.
A helpful first step for assessing your skill level is understanding the signs of low emotional intelligence. Knowing these signs will help you identify if you display any signs of low emotional intelligence.
A person with low emotional intelligence typically struggles with:
- Understanding their own emotions
- Understanding how other people feel
- Realizing what causes certain emotions
- Frequent mood changes and often throws frequent tantrums
- Comfortably sharing their opinion or being assertive
- Having no interest in finding alternative ways to solve issues
- Taking constructive criticism
- Sharing their ideas
- Constantly saying the wrong thing at the wrong time
- Often missing other people’s emotional cues
- Constantly dwelling on mistakes instead of learning from them
- Optimism
How to Increase Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is made up of four pillars.
Self-awareness is all about knowing our own feelings and how they affect the way we think, act, and perform.
Self-management refers to how we handle our emotions and regulate ourselves.
Social awareness involves being able to recognize and understand how others are feeling.
Relationship management refers to how we handle our social interactions and connections.
Honing these 4 pillars really comes from understanding the relationship between thought, emotions, and actions. We all naturally think and feel. Our thoughts and emotions are closely linked, shaping our experiences and affecting our actions. But sometimes, our thoughts can be overwhelming or our emotions can take over.
This is where emotional intelligence comes in – being able to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions and how they affect others. Getting a handle on our thoughts with emotional intelligence can really help boost our mental well-being and how we respond to things.
The Best Emotional Intelligence Books
Here’s our pick of the 7 best books to read on Emotional Intelligence, to help you manage your emotions better:
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
1-sentence summary
Daniel Goleman explains how emotions work in our bodies and brains and how to improve emotional intelligence for better results.
What it Teaches You
Emotions are strong urges that drive how we act. At the same time, strong feelings can really mess with our heads. If we work on our emotional intelligence, we can handle our own emotions better, get where others are coming from, and keep ourselves going when things get tough.
Key Takeaways
Improving our emotional intelligence can benefit various aspects of our lives. We can enhance our emotional intelligence by paying attention to our inborn temperaments, which our experiences can dampen or amplify. Additionally, patterns formed in childhood are amplified over time, so it’s important to realize this. Ultimately, it’s good to know that our brains change throughout our lives, and it’s possible to reprogram them, thus changing how we react to emotions.
Best For
This book is for anyone wanting to improve self-awareness, emotional regulation, interpersonal skills, and leadership abilities.
Favourite Quote
“Emotional intelligence [is] a meta-ability, determining how well or how poorly people are able to use their other mental capacities.”
Book Review
You may need to navigate through a lot of scientific language discussing the brain’s autonomy and functioning to uncover valuable insights within the text. However, that doesn’t reduce the quality of the book. It’s not only filled with academic research and studies but also a list of active ingredients for enhancing your emotional intelligence.
You can read the detailed Emotional Intelligence summary here.
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves
1-Sentence Summary
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 shows us how to determine our emotional intelligence (EQ) levels and outlines practical strategies to improve self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.
What it Teaches You
This book gives you a simple way to understand and improve EQ. It shows how emotional intelligence affects your work and provides easy steps to boost your EQ. You’ll learn to spot what sets off your emotions, handle your reactions, and build better relationships using practical strategies and awareness.
Key Takeaways
The authors offer strategies to improve self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. Here’s a glimpse of some of these strategies. For self-awareness, list emotional triggers and observe how your emotions impact others. Use a logic-vs-emotion list to resolve internal conflicts and manage negative self-talk to improve self-management. Observe people’s interactions to pick up emotional cues and check for accuracy to improve social awareness. Additionally, avoid giving mixed signals and validating others’ emotions, even when disagreeing, to help with relationship management.
Best For
Anyone looking to improve their emotional intelligence for better self-regulation, improved social interactions, and stronger leadership capabilities.
Favorite Quote
“Emotions can help you and they can hurt you, but you have no say in the matter until you understand them.”
Book Review
This book contains helpful tips you can practice and reflect on to improve your emotional intelligence. There are 66 strategies discussed, many with examples of both good and bad displays of particular behaviors for you to reflect on. Additionally, there is an emotional intelligence test that allows you to score yourself on your emotional intelligence level. Regardless of your current level, the techniques and strategies provided in this book can help you improve any areas of weakness.
You can read the detailed Emotional Intelligence 2.0 summary here.
Mindfulness in Plain English by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana
1-Sentence Summary
Mindfulness in Plain English shows us how being mindful can teach us to think and act with greater focus, clarity, leading to peace, and happiness.
What it Teaches You
Practicing mindfulness helps us think and act with clarity and intuition, which is important for developing emotional intelligence. This book teaches a practical approach to mindfulness by explaining that human dissatisfaction comes from constantly wanting things or rejecting them. Meditation can help us break free from this cycle of dissatisfaction by making us aware of our thoughts without judging them. This allows us to live with more clarity and calm.
Key Takeaways
Mindfulness is all about being present without judging, so you can break free from emotional reactions and see things clearly. The author introduces readers to Vipassana meditation, an ancient Buddhist practice, to help you develop this mindfulness and understand yourself better. By learning to focus your attention and deal with distractions, you can build a sustainable mindfulness practice and use it in your daily life. The main goal is to find peace by accepting who you are and seeing reality as it is.
Best For
This book is ideal for anyone looking to increase self-awareness, and develop mindfulness in daily life.
Favourite Quote
“Meditation brings the mind to a state of tranquility and awareness, a state of concentration and insight.”
Book Review
The book dives into Buddhist concepts like impermanence and selflessness, but it’s still accessible to beginners. Bhante G. offers a step-by-step guide to start a meditation practice, making it easy for novices to follow. The language is clear and simple, breaking down complex ideas into practical techniques that anyone can apply. While you may come across spiritual terminology, the insights are universally applicable, making this book a helpful resource for anyone interested in mindfulness and especially keen on using mindfulness to improve emotional intelligence.
You can read the detailed Mindfulness in Plain English summary here.
Primal Leadership by Daniel Goleman
1-Sentence Summary
Primal Leadership argues that emotional intelligence enables leaders to foster positive emotions in others and build effective, resonant teams.
What It Teaches You
The book highlights the importance of emotional intelligence in effective leadership, showing how leaders can use it to create a positive emotional atmosphere at work, boost performance, and drive innovation. It also explains how leaders can improve their emotional intelligence and use it to handle personal and group emotions, ultimately leading to greater organizational success.
Key Takeaways
The authors suggest that the emotional state of leaders can influence their teams, impacting the overall mood and effectiveness of the group. Resonant leaders create positive emotional climates, while dissonant ones can create negative cycles. Additionally, six leadership styles are associated with emotional intelligence (EI) competencies, with four being resonant (positive) and two being dissonant (potentially negative). Effective leaders use a combination of these styles based on situational needs. EI can be developed through self-directed learning, which involves understanding and practicing new competencies and habits until they become ingrained.
Best For
Leaders, managers, and organizational development professionals who want to improve their emotional intelligence and improve team dynamics.
Favorite Quote
“Great leadership works through emotions.”
Book Review
In “Primal Leadership,” you’ll find a deep dive into how leadership and emotional intelligence come together to help leaders use their emotions to motivate and lead their teams. The book gives a detailed roadmap for understanding and enhancing emotional intelligence, making it a useful resource for anyone keen on boosting their leadership abilities and creating a more positive and productive work environment.
You can read the detailed Primal Leadership summary here.
Emotional Intelligence Habits by Travis Bradberry
1-Sentence Summary
This book offers strategies for improving emotional intelligence through daily habits that enhance self-awareness, self-regulation, and interpersonal relationships.
What it Teaches You
The book shows how important it is to develop emotional intelligence through small, regular habits. By doing these habits, you can better control your emotions, deal with social situations, and make better decisions in your personal and professional life. It highlights the power of self-awareness and empathy in building strong relationships and managing your emotions.
Key Takeaways
The way we handle our emotions isn’t set in stone, and we can improve it over time by taking specific steps. Bradberry shares a bunch of habits that can help us get better at recognizing and controlling our emotions, understanding others’ feelings, and communicating more effectively. These habits include things like reflecting on our thoughts and finding ways to deal with stress and tough conversations. The book also talks about how important it is to be emotionally strong and adaptable in a world that’s always changing.
Best For
Individuals seeking to improve their emotional intelligence in practical, actionable ways.
Favourite Quote
“Anyone can become angry—that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way, this is not easy.”
Book Review
Emotional Intelligence Habits provides a solid framework for understanding and building emotional intelligence. While the book may focus heavily on practical strategies, it is well-researched and backed by science. Bradberry’s writing is straightforward and accessible, making complex psychological concepts easy to grasp. This is an ideal read for those who want to actively improve their emotional awareness and relationship management skills through daily habits.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey
1-Sentence Summary
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People shares seven fundamental habits for achieving success through positive change.
What it Teaches You
The book teaches a holistic approach to self-improvement and effective relationship-building through seven habits that build from private victories (self-mastery) to public victories (effective interaction with others) and continuous renewal. Covey’s framework encourages personal growth from the inside out – aconcept that ties in with addressing internal qualities before improving external behaviours when improving our emotional intelligence.
Key Takeaways
To grow personally and professionally, be proactive. Take responsibility for your actions and decisions, and focus on what you can control. Set goals, prioritize tasks, foster positive relationships, enhance communication, embrace collaboration, and commit to self-improvement.
Best For
Anyone seeking to build better habits, develop stronger relationships, and become more effective in both personal and professional life.
Favorite Quote
“Response-ability (is) the ability to choose your response.”
Book Review
This book challenges you to examine your core defining traits and encourages seven helpful personal development and effectiveness principles. While the language used in the book feels dated, it doesn’t take away from the values that it presents. If you commit to them, these principles could be life-changing for any area of your life, including managing your emotions.
You can read the detailed The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People summary here.
How to Make Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
1-sentence summary
Dale Carnegie’s timeless book helps you build meaningful relationships and influence others through empathy, understanding, and effective communication.
What it Teaches You
The book provides practical tips for improving relationships by understanding and respecting people’s desires, appreciating them genuinely, and considering their perspectives. Understanding, and respecting others perspectives aligns with interpersonal skills associated with emotional intelligence.
Key Takeaways
To build good relationships, Dale Carnegie advises us to understand others’ actions and viewpoints. We should also show genuine appreciation and align our suggestions with their desires and goals. To make people like you, be genuinely interested, smile, remember their name, be a good listener, talk about their interests, and make them feel important.
Best For
Anyone looking to become more self aware,improve interpersonal skills, and learn how to influence others positively.
Favourite Quote
“A person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
Book Review
Although written in 1936, Dale Carnegie’s principles are still relevant today. The book offers actionable advice that applies to all interactions involving people. With numerous real-life examples and timeless wisdom, it’s a practical guide for mastering human relationships, whether in personal life or business.
You can read the detailed How to Make Friends and Influence People summary here.
Bonus Books
Think Again by Adam Grant
Think Again by Adam Grant is about how important it is to be mentally flexible in a world that’s always changing. The book explores how our biases, like confirmation bias and desirability bias, can keep us stuck in old ways of thinking. Grant encourages us to approach things like a scientist—open-minded, curious, and willing to change our minds.
Think Again can significantly help with how we approach improving our emotional intelligence by encouraging us to challenge our assumptions and become more self-aware. The practical tips for rethinking things on our own, with others, and as a group will also come in handy when navigating, understanding, and managing our emotions. The book is full of fascinating research, real-life examples, and helpful advice that all point to the idea that it’s not about being right, but about being open to new ideas that we don’t know yet.
You can read the detailed Think Again summary here.
The Emotionally Intelligent Manager by David R. Caruso
The Emotionally Intelligent Manager presents a compelling argument against the outdated belief that emotions hinder rational decision-making. Instead, Caruso and Salovey provide practical techniques for recognizing and utilizing emotions as a strength in leadership. The book is filled with actionable insights and real-world examples that demonstrate the importance of emotional intelligence in professional success. This guide is invaluable for leaders who wish to balance logic and emotion to achieve better results in their organizations.
Conclusion
If you read a lot, you’ll likely be more successful than someone who reads little or doesn’t read. This mainly stems from the fact that when you read, you gain knowledge. So, if improving your emotional intelligence is something you’ve been looking to embark on, why not start by reading one of the amazing books recommended above? You’ll discover how well you handle your feelings and uncover ideas to strengthen your four key emotional intelligence pillars. As a book summary service that’s gone through many books on emotional intelligence, we’ve shared only the easily comprehensible ones with you and books that will thoroughly guide you through understanding and enhancing your emotional intelligence. Remember, knowledge is power. Dedicate a few hours a day or per week to reading books on emotional intelligence, implement the ideas from there, and see what happens.
span style=”font-weight: 400;”>Happy reading!
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